Truth be told, life is always full of shit and we would all opt out of it if we knew what we were getting ourselves into when we first decided to pop our heads out of our mothers’ vaginal cavities. It is all too messy in this cold and heartless void with everyone so self-involved in their own selfish escapades. Surely, anyone in their right minds would pick that vacation/retreat (or whatever the fuck they call that shit they got going on in the mothers’ womb) over this, right? Well, that’s food for thought reserved for another time but remember: you are sitting around all day, getting carried wherever they (or you; in some instances as they tell themselves) want to go and best part is you even get fed via a fucking ‘straw’!!!! Just saying, but don’t know about you, seems like a place I would want to stay in…possibly FOREVER!
Anyway, we all know that’s not going to fucking happen; not on life’s watch! So what’s a guy to do? Well, I guess people have different ways of dealing with shit in their lives. Like for instance in my case, I have found depression to be a major part of my life. Considering the fact that it is actually a mental condition I recently came to the realization I had to live with forever, I have actually learnt to embrace it as an essence of my own being. Despite the fact that it is labeled as an evil menace to modern-day society, I have actually found depression to be of so much help and meaning in my life due to the fact that it acts as a driving factor for me to tread on forward. So many people spend their lives in the ‘pursuit for happiness’ forgetting that the negative can just be as useful an emotion as any other. It is induced in our minds and thoughts by society that we have to be happy, or maybe even that we need to have a purpose greater than ourselves, a higher meaning to this life…matters that only add to dampening the mood of this life making it unbearable. Emotions such as depression, anger and sadness or even hate might seem really unbearable and draining but on the contrary, like all other emotions it is all about how you channel them. The key here is control.
Heavy Metal has helped me do exactly this, in my case. Black Metal to be even more precise. One thing that gets me about black metal is how it gracefully embraces the darkness in life. While most people would love to think the world as a fantastical place where everything has a happy ending and all of life’s inhabitants co-existing in perfect harmony, black metal introduces you to the other reality of life. From a logical standpoint, it is just common sense to assume that the world has to maintain some sort of balance hence the concept of good and evil. It is, therefore, nonsensical to believe that pursuing only emotions considered “positive” is enough to give one fulfillment in this life. Just as it might seem like the right thing to follow your heart, it might be just as wrong to deprive it of what you deem “not a worthy enough cause to be followed”. It’s all perspective here. Happiness might work for so many people but to be frank it always appears to choke me. I never seem to be satisfied unless a little sadness creeps in; because only then can I live life in a serene and peaceful trance-like state free from external bondages. It might seem odd or even ironic that happiness can depress, but this is just the mysterious ways in which life works: Balance. So, as much as we may want to quit on this life, complain and say this is not what we signed up for, it is all we fucking got and you live it any way you know how. Listening to your elders may be an encouraged attribute…but we all have to agree that sometimes you have to fall to know how hard the ground beneath you is. Same way a bird takes a leap of faith into its first ever flight, you should take every next step with your head held high and embrace whatever consequences that arise as a result of that step; both the good and bad. Life isn’t always supposed to be about the quest for happiness alone, get depressed a little, embrace it and make it your own…see where that gets you; because only then can you say that you have experienced both sides of life.