Road to Nirvana.

Disclaimer: This post contains graphic photos!!!!!

I have always been intrigued, though at the same time profoundly confused by human emotions and how the species relates to one another. These relations in turn breed what is to be known as a society in which there are specific norms and rules to govern it. I was extremely socially-awkward growing up (maybe even too logical for my age), with no filter when it came to speaking my mind; a trait that is termed good or bad depending on the circumstance. This is just but one example where both human emotions and societal “morals” spawn a paradox. For instance, that one time in my primary school days when I tried to give my teacher a lesson (the irony, ahem) on the concept of distance-speed relationship to explain why I was always late. I came up with a simple theory to explain why the school’s reporting time was a stupid concept that, though not impossible, was highly impractical. My perspective was; since a school is made up of pupils living varying distances from the school with the highway speed (assuming all of them lived on the highway which has the highest speed limit to be used as the upper limit of the speed constant) being about 60-80km/h on a normal work day, then this automatically meant that time as a dependent of speed and distance was ultimately bound to vary; all this assuming every kid started sleeping at 10 p.m. and they had to sleep for 6-8 hours as per the doctors’ orders. Well, despite such logic from a class 6 kid the only approval I managed to win involved a teacher and a cane. Despite the shallowness of this argument though (it is coming from a kid, what do you expect!), I truly believe it would have worked in manipulating my teacher to let me go scot-free had I not been a habitual latecomer.

My argument, though logical as it may seem, would have never won me a free pass as I later came to realize. Habitual latecomer or not, the concept had not appealed to the teacher’s ego (his self-importance) and somehow managed to make him even more agitated despite having some traces of truth in it. As it turned out, I was labeled as impudent too. This is a clear depiction on how much humans rely on emotions and societal norms (children should not talk back to adults) in their decision-making process. Emotions however, are not what they always seem to be and just happen to be far more complicated. I have spent a good portion of my life trying to really understand what makes humans feel and why they exhibit abnormal behavior when acting on these feelings. Unlike animals, the other members of Kingdom Animalia that walk on four legs and all, Homo sapiens are almost fully in control of their cognitive abilities and can override instincts at will. They are capable of using tools to perform tasks that would otherwise be extremely difficult or even impossible. This gives them an almost god-like command of the habitats they inhabit making them unique in that sense. Since members of the aforementioned species seem to be the smartest and have conquered just about anything this life can throw at them, it is interestingly amazing how most of them live at the mercy of their emotions. The fact that they have no control over what they feel is a revealing factor on how strong these emotions can be. Just one Google search about Moammar Gadhafi’s corpse can show you what happens when these emotions get out of hand.

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Gadhafi’s corpse.

Emotions have always been viewed as a sign of weakness and showing them is met with snobby glares and contempt at worst (which ironically, are emotions too). I have observed a lot of people and how they connect to one another (including myself) and I have come to the personal realization that people who show emotions are stronger (in the mental sense) and have achieved a certain amount of control over how it can affect them. For this reason women are mentally stronger and better at dealing with such circumstances than men. Some of us might argue that their male counterparts are built for the fight and can take numerous hits and still fight back right? Easier said than done, mental warfare is a totally different ball game and that sh*t will beat you down to the ground and keep you there, literally! I have lost a couple of “people I know” to the noose and so I think it is justified to say I know what the hell I’m talking about. It is practically the enemy you can’t see and even worse is that it is fighting you from within meaning you are guaranteed to lose the war plus the damn battle!

Being the black sheep in a society full of “righteous” people, I have never really known how to express emotions (sad fact). This might be directly related to losing almost three-quarters of my family members at a tender age but it seems to be something that started way earlier than that. I am not sure if at a certain point in my infant life I might have been dropped on my head but apparently I exhibited autistic behavior. I might have been off the hook by now but then again some schmuck *read a shrink* decided to label me a bipolar with split-personality tendencies; whatever the f**k that means. Anyway, there is no sure way to know whether this is true or not but I have always struggled with human relations for a fact. Personally, I think they exaggerated it a little too much. I therefore set out on a quest to understand what makes man tick as soon as I was old enough to grow some pubic hairs.

It has been a long and treacherous path that I am glad to say finally turned out fruitful. Though the outcome was an unexpected one, am still glad that there is strong evidence to support it actually works. Being a science fanatic, as I have mentioned so many times before, I set out looking for a numerical equation that would help me quantify emotional states hence put my interaction woes to rest. Well, this did not happen! But as success always comes from a string of failures, an even better solution sneaked in. Meditation.

This is the practice of focusing all thoughts to a single subject matter. True masters of this art have attained true inner peace and full access to all their cognitive capabilities including being able to control emotions. It involves fully weighing down on a subject matter for prolonged periods of precise focus until clarity is achieved. Dashi-Dorzho Itigilov, a Buddhist monk who died in 1927 during meditation, is said to be devoid of macroscopic decay and is believed to have achieved a nirvana-like state. His body was studied by numerous scientists and pathologists all of who concluded the body was in the condition of one that been dead for only 36 hours!!! Now that is what I call control!

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Itigilov’s body

Emotions therefore, might not be quantifiable using a mathematical formula or other scientific methods that might make them a bit easier to understand, but one thing is for sure: they are not uncontrollable. Anyone can master mental and emotional stability and all it takes is practice. Maybe then, the human race might actually stop excelling at destroying itself and fighting wars that profit no one but the people in power.

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